If Only You Knew
by lalalalahhh
Summary: Dan Howell (aka Danisnotonfire), has just gone through a terrible break-up with the girl he loves. Brooke, one of Dan's best friends, is heart-wrenchingly in love with him but he's never seen her that way. Will Brooke take advantage of Dan's broken heart?
1. Chapter 1

_I just wanted to make sure you guys know this is my first fanfic, so I still have a lot to learn. I'm okay with criticism and will try to update as often as possible (I will not create a schedule)_

Dan Howell had been my one escape. The one that would always make me laugh no matter what. But then he found Kat and it all changed. He forgot about me and everything we had. But now he acts like nothing happened. He comes to me about Kat and shares all their problems with me.

"It's just like she doesn't care anymore. She's been with her ex-boyfriend Nate twice now. I just don't know what to do. I love her so much." he confessed, looking down at his hands. Hearing him say he loved her was disorienting.

"You should straight up ask her if she loves Nate. It's just going to cause you more pain if you don't know the answer." It was strange, helping the guy I loved with the girl he loved. He surged forward and hugged me tightly. I squeezed back but cringed. Cant he tell how much it hurts when he does this?

His phone rang, playing the High School Musical theme song. "That's Kat. Thank you." he patted me on the knee and lifted himself off of the couch to talk to the girl he loved so much. I could hear the buzz of his voice over the episode of Friends I was watching. It seemed to be going good.

Phil walked out of his room and came over to sit by me on the couch. "'Hey Brooke," he spoke over Joey explaining what'd happened over the last episode. I mumbled a hello and we made saracastic comments about the episode until Dan came back in, unsmiling.

"She told me that if I had a problem with her hanging out with an ex than I must not trust her. But she just keeps acting like she can do anything she wants and get away with it. I don't know if I can do it anymore," he slumped down on the couch and rubbed his eyes. Phil and I gave him positive comments and pats, attempting to be comforting despite our awkwardness. Dan breathed out an brought his head up to stare at my shoes. "I'm done." in a dreamlike trance, Dan retreated to his bedroom.

I watched the dim glow of his room get smaller till he closed the door. Phil and I looked at each other. "Should we make pancakes? I could put maltesers in them..." I tried my best to look him in the eye without glancing away.

"Yeah but we should probably wait a bit for him to sorta...compose himself or something." We decided to watch Vampire Diaries, which turned out to not be as cheesy as I thought it would be. The occasional bang could be heard from Dan's room but we decided to ignore it.

After having a very entertaining pancake flipping contest with Phil, I knocked on Dan's door. Silence for a few seconds, and I studied the light wood of his door. Then I heard a muffled "come in". The door creaked open to reveal a very disheveled Dan, half-hidden underneath his dark bedcovers. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, arm twisted behind me, holding the handle.

"Are you okay with me being here?" I cocked my head to see under his covers better and bit my lip to look more innocent. Paths of the conversation flew through my head. If he is crying I'll console him and then cheer him up, ending with a physical comedy movie like Blades of Glory. If he's angry I'll really push the innocent card and make him soften.

"Yeah," his voice sounded level, emotionless. Which was even worse than I'd thought it would be. If you've never experienced this before, allow me to explain. If someone becomes so emotional, they may decide to stop it all and create a barrier. A barrier that keeps it all inside, clawing at your insides to be let out. But sometimes that barrier is the only thing keeping you sane.

I walked up to the lump of off-black in front of me and touched the bed tentatively, making sure I wasn't about to sit on Dan, and sat down. He moved the covers to completely reveal the other half of his face. "I'm fine, I don't really want to get into it now. I just need a distraction or something."

I blinked, surprised at how straightforward he was being. "Okay, ummmm... Blockbuster?" I asked, suddenly unsure of my words. His eyes were stale brown instead of his usual warm chocolate. I've never understood how people can tell so much from eyes. In books they always say they saw fear, love and anger in someone's eyes, but in real life you can't tell much.

"Still trying to keep them in business?" he asked me, smirking. I'd explained to him before how I hated the 'RedBoxes' and all the onDemand, straining the original reliable Blockbusters. He got out of his bed, and started towards his wardrobe. I giggled at his skinny legs in the current shorts he'd changed into and turned around.

"What movies do you want to rent?" he interrupted my scrolling on Pheed.

I peeked over at him to make sure he was dressed, seeing his head getting caught in the collar of his shirt. I laughed quietly and walked over to help him. "I don't know what ever we see there, I guess." Some of his flat-ironed hair stuck up under the friction. I made him stop moving and shimmied it down his head. Finally, his face was revealed, his eyes closed lips pressed.

I clapped my hands an inch from his face and laughed as he flailed backwards. "Bloody hell!" He hit his head on his wardrobe and fell onto the black rug. "Oh shit, sorry!" I kneeled down and waited for him to get ahold of the pain. He finally moved his hand from his face and blinked. "Where did you hit your head?" he lightly brushed the back of his head with his palm.

"I don't think I'm bleeding and it's just a dull throbbing now," He laughed while I attempted to apologize. "Its fine, I'm fine." It was funny, him reassuring me. He hugged me and pulled me up. We got Phil and our coats, and left for Blockbuster.

_I know the story sounds really light now but I promise it WILL get better (and no, there will be no self-harming, eating disorders, suicides or anything else related) the sad part of Dan might've been overpowering him at that moment but that does not mean he is depressed since he could push it away so easily._


	2. Chapter 2

_I just want to point out that if you hadn't figured it out already, I am American so I may get a few things wrong. If I do, it'd be really helpful if you corrected me! Thank you_

Phil veered off to go to his sister's flat because of some emergency with her boyfriend, leaving Dan and me alone. Not that I really minded.

We walked through the doors of Blockbuster, hearing the low ding (more like a dungg). I headed straight for the movies on the right wall, where the new releases were. I hadn't realized Dan was following me until I felt him brush his hand along mine, sending me shivers. I bit my lip, telling myself it must have been an accident.

"Okay, horror movie marathon or comedy?" I studied the cover of "Mama", taking in the rotting flesh on the cover and bookmarking it in my mind.

"Er, I don't know, what sounds good to you?" he pushed the question back towards me. He seemed to be looking at some funny movies. I looked along the wall and saw "A Haunted House". I took it off the shelf and studied the back. The movie was a parody of the "Paranormal Activity" series. A comedy of a horror movie was perfect.

I turned to him and presented it, swooshing one hand under it. "How about a comedy about a horror movie?" I waggled my eyebrows. He looked amused and took the movie in his hands, studying the cover and back and squeezing his lips together. I found myself mesmerized by his lips for a few seconds, but when he started talking I quickly looked up.

"This looks great. Do you want to pick out more though?" he held the movie at his side now. We decided to split up, Dan looking at the funny movies, me searching for the horror ones. I've always been a fan of horror, but nothing seemed to scare me anymore since I was about 10. I'd seen the Exorcist, the Omen and even all the Friday the 13ths, but I did a whole lot more laughing than I did getting scared.

I looked at them, criticizing each costumes and makeup. For horror movies, you usually do have to judge it by its cover. I chose one more, named "the Last Exorcism" and looked around for Dan. It wasn't that hard, he was easily taller than anyone in the room. I spotted him in the back left corner, hunched over an armful of movies. I walked towards him, taking in his dark wash jeans and black jacket, his flat-ironed hair that was beginning to curl at the ends.

I slid a finger on the side of his neck, causing him to both throw the movies in the air and grab me by my shoulders. We both fell to the ground, DVDs raining down on us. We both got a couple to the head. He was still holding my shoulders, and it was an awkward position. Dan's eyes were wide and his elbows locked, but as soon as he saw it was me he started laughing. The arms on my shoulders relaxed, and to my dismay he let go of me.

"Sweet Jesus, Brooke what the hell?!" he looked around at the scattered DVDs.

I shook my head while laughing. I couldn't even articulate a sentence about him using both Jesus and Hell to express his surprise. I can never find the right thing to say to him. But Dan always finds the perfect, sarcastically sexy words. He fixed his hair fastidiously, smoothing it to his left. I stood up and helped him, combing my fingers through it.

He got up and we both checked out, with my 2 horror movies and his 6 comedies (reduced from the 14 he'd chosen). Once we got home, he gave me a shirt to wear and popped Kettle, Cheese and Extra-Butter popcorn to mix together. The shirt was long enough so I could wear it as an off the shoulder dress, and had a picture of a dream catcher on the front. I laid out a pallet of blankets and pillows in front of the couch.

We did eenie-meenie-minee-mo (or however it's spelled) until we had a specific order to watch them in. Mean Girls was first. Dan did an impression of Gretchen and made me snort unattractively with laughter.

Three movies later, it was 1 AM and Dan and I were kissing under the dark covers.

_Okay I'm super sorry this was short I just hate it when I have to wait for stories and wanted to update as soon as possible. I will be writing this story everywhere I go now, I'm using my phone to write part of the story and emailing it to myself._


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